Young lovers do silly things sometimes. When my husband and I were courting, we frequently left silly little poems on small slips of paper for each other. We then hid the papers in hidden places for each other to discover later, such as in a book or in a coat pocket. After 19 years of marriage, we still giggle when we recall those silly– and sentimental– moments of our early years.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue;
I’ll meet you at the park
Where sweet kisses are due!

Roses are red,
Violets are turquoise;
When we are together
I want to make lots of noise!

I think I made a poem for every color in the Crayola crayon box! But my husband loved finding these little notes in unsuspected places. He fondly chuckles when he remembers them.

If you’ve been together with your spouse for a long time, those silly little moments are easily swallowed up with other things. Building careers, raising children, buying a home, etc., come to the forefront and the sentimentality of romance and relationship are shifted to the back burner. We marrieds don’t intentionally neglect those times of sweet romance; it just kind of happens. So, it takes effort to stir up those sparks. Doing so can really revitalize your relationship and prevent entropy.

But how does one go about it? Sometimes finances are tight. Sometimes they are not! But whether you buy your love a new kitchen or sports car or a chocolate bar, what really matters is that you keep it personal. Your goal is to stoke those fires that burned during those early years. Sometimes all we have to do is shut out everything– the bills, the TV, the kids, the pets, the clamor of the day– turn off the lights, light the candles, and enjoy each other’s presence. Remember together why you chose each other to have and to hold, for better or for worse, til death do you part. Every relationship needs this kind of attention, but it seems the longer you are together, the more you need to do it.

Take some alone time with your spouse. You’ll probably have to schedule it in! That may make it seem “less romantic” but it needn’t be. Remember those early love notes or sweet things you did together. Stir up the embers of those first days, and before long you’ll have a steady flame going.